378 - with Links

1. The Google Bandits Some people were making fun of these crooks for trying to disable security cameras by spraying them with WD-40. Admittedly, that is pretty stupid, but when faced with a different safe than the one they had planned on cracking, these guys had the smarts to use the power of google to get into the safe and make off with $12000.

2. Go Vespa Go After seeing these vintage Vespa commercials, I'm surprised than anyone ever bought one.

3. Pick Axe The main reason I got such a low score on this guitar/player matching quiz is because I confused the name "Rick Nielson" with "Ricky Nelson."

4. Muffler Man The Muffler Man section of Roadside America has become super comprehensive. It now includes a list of movies and TV shows which feature these giants, a nice interview with the one-time owner of the fiberglass company which produced them, and a map to track locations. Apparently, Illinois is a prime Muffler Man viewing state.

5. Coupon No one knows where this coupon originated, but a lot of people have used printouts of it to save money on dvds at Best Buy. Many have reported multiple copies at one time even though it says "do not double" and "one offer per customer" right on it. Others have used it to buy the X-Files sets that are on sale for $19.99 regardless of the standard "not valid with other offers" fine print. I'm going to try using it on the 3rd season of Arrested Development tomorrow.

355 - Art Request

1. Wooden Mirror It's hard to say exactly what is happening here, but it has something to do with a tiny camera, a computer, a bunch of tilting wooden tiles, and a very bright light.

2. The Wrong Trousers Mandolin, harp, stand up bass, nerds, Buggles, busking. Check 'em out.

3. Gas Mask My failing eyesight, combined with small white text on a light grey background, forbids me from telling you what any of Chris Dimino's artwork is about but I know he made a cool shower head out of a gas mask.

4. Action Poetry Former Poet Laureate, Billy Collins, reads his poetry which is then set in motion by a collection of animators and film makers. My favorite: Forgetfulness.

5. Inkjet Proof of concept. Making projectable 8mm and 16mm films using a home computer and an inkjet printer. You must be able to get a square paper punch for easily making those socket holes.

321 - with Links!

1. Nothing My standard answer, when asked what I want for Christmas, is usually "nothing." And I'm not just trying to be polite, I'd normally rather not receive gifts. Thanks to the producers of this product, I won't really be able to say that anymore.

2. Mystery Hill A lot of towns seem to have these mysterious hills on which local legend claims your car will roll uphill. Usually, it is some phantom civil war soldiers or children killed on a railroad track that are said to push your car. This guy shows you the truth of why it appears that your car defies gravity.

3. Leave It To Tivo Modern freeze-frame technology reveals exactly what was contained in the letter Ward received about the Beaver's bad behavior in school.

4. Digital Delay I don't know shit about Imogen heap, but I know I love this Andrew Bird-esque performance using on the fly looping and absolutely no instruments.

5. Hee-Yah vs Yee-Hah I also wanted to tell you about John Schneider's original Dukes General Lee and how he sold it for $10 million.

314 - with Links!

1. Drive-In Another invitation to those that know me or live near me or want to travel. The double feature on Friday May 4th will be The Day The Earth Stood Still followed by Theremin: An Electronic Odyssey. Hopefully it won't rain out.

2. Love Intended as an learning aid for prospective heart patients, this interactive 3-D model of the human heart is pretty fun to play around with.

3. Four Inches Tall Although I can't find any evidence of Garth Brooks recording Tiny Dancer, I did uncover a Tim McGraw album which features a cover of the Elton John classic. Anyway, the point is this: Stop reporting on "the worlds smallest dogs" until they are at least a year old and thereby eligible to be considered fro the title.

4. Fake Cancer/Real Donations I've always wondered about those donation buckets you sometimes see on the counters of fast food restaurants.

5. Mosquitotone The world leader in innovative television commercials, KFC, is using weird high pitched subliminal noises supposedly only noticed by teenagers in their new ads. I heard it fine, and I'm no teenager.

304 - Advertising

1. Reality I'm sure everyone knows that restaurant advertisements don't do a very ethical job of depicting the reality of what is being advertised. A self proclaimed "Pulitzer-caliber project" puts the advertisers to the test with side by side comparisons. Surprisingly, the actual products from McDonald's look pretty similar to the ad photos, the KFC one is terrible. Anyone associated with it should be ashamed..

2. Speaking of Ads This collection of ads for novelty products from the back of vintage comic books could probably go on forever. They used to sell some really awesome stuff. One correction: Those Kryptonite Rocks weren't just painted green, they also glowed in the dark. I know, I had them.

3. Design If you are interested in graphic design; take a look at this series of short documentaries about some of the most promising independent designers working today. I'm especially partial to the work of Andy Mueller at Ohio Girl.

4. Serve and Protect Advising drivers to slow down via a roadside letterboard, and cheating the municipality out of revenue at the same time.

5. Classifieds Real ads from the classified section of the newspaper. It’s like a Jay Leno segment, only funny.

236 - The Secret

1. We Can Have Whatever We Choose "The Secret" is a feature length documentary that uses a series of interviews and dramatizations to inform viewers about how to use positive thinking to change their lives for the better. It has been getting pretty popular lately, with proponents popping up all over the web to bring the "good word" to the rest of us.

2. What Kind of House Do You Want to Live in? Sure positive thinking might actually be able to impact your life. That seems like a pretty sound philosophical concept. However, this "Law of Attraction" business takes a few extra leaps and tries to claim that positive "thought frequencies" can physically alter the world around you. They say if you think about what you want long and hard enough it will magically come to you. Tell that to an amputee; see how long it takes for his legs to grow back.

3. Do You Want to Be A Millionaire? That amputee comment might not be totally fair. Although at least one of the presenters in "The Secret" makes references to healing cancer, the main focus of the film is how to use "The Law" to gain material possessions. The only people getting rich because of "The Secret" are the presenters of the film. And it isn't by using the principles they proclaim, it is by selling books and DVDs and by setting up a multi-level marketing network (more commonly known as a pyramid scheme.)

4. What Kind of A Business Do You Want to Have? To make matters worse, they suggest their concept is a legitimate scientific principle. Of course, there is electrical activity within the brain. I'd love to see the research that suggests that those impulses can be emitted as powerful, reality changing, positive frequencies. All of the presenters in the movie are motivational speakers, metaphysicians, "visionaries," and life coaches. My research suggests that none of them are actually scientists.

5. Do You Want More Success? In my opinion, what these vultures are doing is preying on people who are desperate for any possibility of improving their lives. They are telling them "Buy our books and buy our movie. That is the only way you'll ever learn how to make your lives better." Then they give them a very simple philosophical concept wrapped up in a bunch of pseudoscience, Divinci Code-esque mythology, and flashy video editing. Please do not fall for this marketing ploy. Instead, just listen to the words of Perry Como, Nat King Cole and Rosemary Clooney, then apply their positive message to your life.

231 - Controversy Catch-up

1. Knife? Check. BB Gun? Check. Diapers? Check. Space Shuttle astronaut, Lisa Marie Nowak, loves her copilot, Bill Oefelein, so much that she put on a disguise, collected her pepper spray, rubber hose, knife, etc, drove from Houston to Orlando and tried to kidnap the woman she believed to be his girlfriend. . . all the while wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to take bathroom breaks. An early nomination for craziest story of the year.

2. What's a White House Page? I had never heard of the White House Page program prior to the Mark Foley hubbub last year when the congressman was accused of inappropriate behavior toward the young men working as pages. The program is more popular than ever. Possible reasons: 1. More people know about the program because of the scandal. 2. Fewer people wanted to work in a republican led congress. 3. A bunch of people want to be propositioned by old rich white guys. Last I heard, Foley was in a Scientologist rehab.

3. Got it Bad. Got it Bad. Got it Bad. Former teacher, Pamela Rogers, who in 2005 was arrested for having sexual interaction with one of her thirteen year old students, couldn't leave well enough alone. Two extra years of jail time have been added to her sentence because it was discovered that she sent racy photos and video of herself to the young boy, thus violating the terms of her parole.

4. The Three Week Cure After admitting to buying meth and paying for sex with a male prostitute, The Right Reverend Ted Haggard entered into a three week "intensive counseling" program in which he learned that "he is completely heterosexual." Whew. He has been advised not to return to the ministry so instead he will attempt to earn a master's degree via the internet and become one hell of a great psychologist.

5. Cheap Publicity In order to head off any potential court cases regarding the Great Aqua Teen Hunger Force Mooninite Debacle of 1/31/07, Turner Broadcasting has agreed to pay the city of Boston $2 million. Half will go towards reimbursing the city for the money spent terrorizing its own citizens. The other half will go to incredibly effective homeland security programs. The two patsies that actually hung the things up are still facing charges.

227 - with Links!

1. Pencil Napper Man banned from Home Depot for accidentally walking away with the cashier's pencil. Home Depot later drops the ban. Slow news day.

2. Nimoy It is amazing to think that The Lord of the Rings books were even more popular in the 1960s-70s than they were during the time that the Peter Jackson movies were released.

3. Blipvert McDonald's ads on Food Network. Subliminal or technological error.

4. Paper Toilet Waste paper virtually.

5. Scottish Fold Watch the first 2 seconds of this video and then spend the rest of your day thinking about it.

226 - Mooninites

1. The Bomb The city of Boston came unhinged after the discovery of a handfull of mysterious electronic circuit boards covered with LEDs stuck to the sides of buildings and under bridges yesterday. Traffic was diverted and the bomb squad was called in to destroy these "suspicious" devices at a cost of upwards of half a million dollars.

2. Not a Hoax Anyone with even the tiniest amount of knowledge about circuitry (the Boston bomb squad, for instance) should have been able to see that these items were not bombs. In fact they were nothing more than glorified LED Throwies.

3. Guerilla Marketing No one ever intended a bomb hoax as Governor Deval Patrick has suggested. These lights were part of a marketing campaign for the upcoming Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie put together by marketing agency Interference Inc who co-opted the artistic, anti-advertising light display concept created by The Graffiti Research Lab.

4. Incriminating Evidence Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens, contracted employees of Interference Inc, were arrested for their part in the instalation of the devices. They were most likely implicated because Berdovsky posted video online of himself and Stevens sticking them up onto anything they could reach with a long pole.

5. Responsibility Turner Broadcasting, the parent company of Cartoon Network, is apparently accepting responsiblity for the ad campaign, going so far as to air a public apology during their popular Adult Swim programming., not during Aqua Teen, though. Buy your commemorative T-Shirts now. If a shirt isn't enough for you, and if you are stupid-rich, buy one of the actual devices

189 - with Links!

1. James Brown: Dead After 73 years of making the world funkier and more soulful, James Brown has reached the end of the line.

2. Disappearing Ink Researchers have developed a new type of tattoo ink that can be removed during only one session of laser surgery. Another type of ink just gradually fades away over time. Of course, if you can find a tattoo artist that is willing, you could get a Penn Jillette tattoo of blood.

3. Inkless Pen "A stainless steel pen, 8cm long. However when you unscrew the top, the 'nib' is a solid piece of metal. There is no ink, yet this pen will write on virtually any type of paper."

4. Scratch and Sniff The California Milk Board loaded up the bus shelters of San Francisco with advertisements that smell like cookies. Soon after, city official forced them to be removed for being "too controversial".

5. Fold How to make a Gap-esque t-shirt folding machine using a few pieces of cardboard and some packing tape.