Wednesday, June 20, 2007

365 - Google Your Brains Out

Masterbating with Banana Peel

1. Masterbating with Banana Peel
At some point during the last year of daily posting, I accidentally misspelled the word "masturbating." This mistake has led a lot of perverts to this site via google searches. This guy, for instance. He might have got his idea from the Showtime series Weeds and decided to find out more about this particular self gratification technique. Coincidentally, I watched the Weeds episode mentioning bananaphilia on the very same day this guy did his search.

Nude Animals

2. Nude Animals "Fear Factor"
I'm not even sure why I assume this guy is a pervert. Animals are all naturally nude, right? Actually, looking at clothed animals could be considered more perverted than looking at nude ones. And he used the artistic term "nude" rather than the lowbrow "naked." Plus there isn't really anything prurient about Fear Factor. Still, I'm going with my gut. This guy's a freak.

Masterbating under the Influence of Marijuana

3. Masterbating under the Influence of Marijuana
I just want to make it clear that my belief that marijuana should be legalized has nothing to do with personal usage. I've never smoked any, so I can't really tell you how it might affect your batting practice.

Male Prostitutes at Home Depot

4. Male Prostitutes at Home Depot
I know you can buy a lot of stuff at Home Depot, but I think this is pushing the limits of even their inventory.

Masterbating While Driving

5. Masterbating While Driving
This seems pretty normal. I'm sure most of us have done this so I won't even call this guy a pervert. I'm not sure why you would need to use the internet to find more information about it however. But I'm done judging. I'll just let your mother and George Putnam, outstanding news reporter, do it for me.



rachel said...

congrats, mr. 365!
way to close your first year on a high note.

arch stanton said...

one year, naked (sorry, nude) babs bunny, and a momma joke.
is there anything this man can't do!?
i love you chris.
thanks for a great year!
(and keep up the good work.)