Tuesday, February 6, 2007

231 - Controversy Catch-up

Knife? Check. BB Gun? Check. Diapers? Check.

1. Knife? Check. BB Gun? Check. Diapers? Check.
Space Shuttle astronaut, Lisa Marie Nowak, loves her copilot, Bill Oefelein, so much that she put on a disguise, collected her pepper spray, rubber hose, knife, etc, drove from Houston to Orlando and tried to kidnap the woman she believed to be his girlfriend. . . all the while wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to take bathroom breaks. An early nomination for craziest story of the year.

What's a White House Page?

2. What's a White House Page?
I had never heard of the White House Page program prior to the Mark Foley hubbub last year when the congressman was accused of inappropriate behavior toward the young men working as pages. The program is more popular than ever. Possible reasons: 1. More people know about the program because of the scandal. 2. Fewer people wanted to work in a republican led congress. 3. A bunch of people want to be propositioned by old rich white guys. Last I heard, Foley was in a Scientologist rehab.

Got it Bad. Got it Bad. Got it Bad.

3. Got it Bad. Got it Bad. Got it Bad.
Former teacher, Pamela Rogers, who in 2005 was arrested for having sexual interaction with one of her thirteen year old students, couldn't leave well enough alone. Two extra years of jail time have been added to her sentence because it was discovered that she sent racy photos and video of herself to the young boy, thus violating the terms of her parole.

The Three Week Cure

4. The Three Week Cure
After admitting to buying meth and paying for sex with a male prostitute, The Right Reverend Ted Haggard entered into a three week "intensive counseling" program in which he learned that "he is completely heterosexual." Whew. He has been advised not to return to the ministry so instead he will attempt to earn a master's degree via the internet and become one hell of a great psychologist.

Cheap Publicity

5. Cheap Publicity
In order to head off any potential court cases regarding the Great Aqua Teen Hunger Force Mooninite Debacle of 1/31/07, Turner Broadcasting has agreed to pay the city of Boston $2 million. Half will go towards reimbursing the city for the money spent terrorizing its own citizens. The other half will go to incredibly effective homeland security programs. The two patsies that actually hung the things up are still facing charges.



Anonymous said...

someone should tell Haggard that he can't call himself a psychologist without a doctorate and a license to practice, and he will have a hell of a time getting licensed with an online degree and a known criminal history.

Christopher said...

I guess it isn't fair to say he plans to become a psychologist. The article actually says he has been urged to follow through on plans to earn a master's degree in psychology and that he is considering the psychological field. Plus, all of this comes from a third party who was willing to speak to reporters, not from Haggard himself.