Sunday, May 6, 2007

320 - Sunday

This Oughta be Good

1. This Oughta be Good
Don't forget to watch Kirk Cameron (famous for his role on Growing Pains) and Ray Comfort (famous for suggesting a genetically modified banana proves the existence of god) when they debate the scientific evidence of god with The Rational Response Squad (famous for instigating you-tubers to renounce the holy spirit.) Since none of the participants are actually scientists, I'm sure there will be a lot of incredibly well researched, scientifically valid information presented. Can sarcasm be accurately discerned from the written word without the aid of punctuation based emoticons?

Take My Pope...Please

2. Take My Pope...Please
The George Bush anti-terrorism scare tactic has been so successful that even the Pope has started using it. After an Italian stand-up comedian, Andrea Rivera, made a few jokes pointing out what he believes to be hypocrisy in the Roman Catholic Church, the vatican issued a newspaper article in which they called Rivera "dangerous" and claim his routine is "terrorism." The thing that surprises me the most about this story is that Italy has its own stand-up comedians.

Toasted and Shredded

3. Toasted and Shredded
The Creation Museum in Kentucky makes a lot of claims that are one hundred percent contrary to everything modern science knows about paleontology. For instance: Dinosaurs and humans frolicked together happily less than six thousand years ago; Noah's flood was real and his arc was filled with baby dinosaurs to maximize its storage space; When Adam and Eve ate an apple, dinosaurs turned carnivorous; Before that T-Rex used his razor sharp, serrated teeth for breaking open the tough husks of delicious coconuts.

Republican Repression

4. Republican Repression
Did anyone watch the republican presidential debates last week? It was more boring than the democrats the week before. All the online polls (which we know are not accurate) are claiming Ron Paul came out on top. All the mainstream news shows (which we know are not "fair and balanced") are claiming that victory for either McCain, Giuliani, or Romney. Thankfully, none of the "winners" were among the candidates that raised their hands when asked "Who here doesn't believe in evolution?" that dubious honor goes to Mike Huckabee, Sam Brownback and Tom Tancredo.

Holy Water, Holy #@&!!!

5. Holy Water, Holy #@&!!!
It might be serious, and I hope Cardinal Francis George didn't hurt himself too badly, but even he might have to admit the comedic potential of a priest slipping and falling in a puddle of his own holy water. At least it wasn't a banana peel. Perhaps the first rule of public swimming pools should apply to church services as well: No Splashing.


1 comment:

arch stanton said...

it's not especially topical for today but..
why didn't you tell me that johnny hart died!?
i rely on you for this type of "popular culture" information.