1. Get Human
I was reading these instructions on how to build your own solar cell and I thought, "Why doesn't everyone make these?" Then I read "To run a 1,000 watt stove, you would need 800 square meters of cuprous oxide, and another 800 square meters of plain copper." Oh.
3. Sock Wars
"Melissa Midwest" is offering $100,000 to the hottest girl that will come live with her for a year and have a bunch of naked pictures posted on the internet. If these internet girls make $100,000, how much do their pimps/boyfriends make?