253 - Fonts

1. What the Font! Use this application to figure out the name of a font you want to use.

2. Lookalikes Since commercial fonts are often pretty expensive, use this site to find another font that looks close enough to make a good substitute for the real thing.

3. Are They Bootlegs After you have a few names for the font you want to use, search this site (or scour google) for one of those names.

4. Novelty If you need something to match a style but don't have a specific font in mind, you can look through dafont or simplythebest to find something useful.

5. Tack-O-Rama Tackorama has a lot of good fonts (as well as clipart and other images) divided up by specific eras.

252 - Monkey Tuesday

1. Lucky? A disembodied foot found in a Virginia garbage dump that was originally thought to belong to a human, was then confused for an ape's, has finally been determined to have come from a bear. This confusion is "probably more common than people realize," says the local sheriff.

2. Home Improvement Little Joe, the gorilla, escaped from his enclosure and rampaged through Boston before being recaptured. Three years later he is being reintroduced to his adoring public after a complete redesign of his cage to make it a little more escape proof.

3. Dawn of Man The defining line between man and animal is getting thinner and thinner. Researches recently observed Chimps sharpening spears and using them to skewer bush babies as a food gathering technique.

4. Bigfoot & Unicorn Two great cryptids that taste great together.

5. Look at 'em Go Keepers at the Lowry Park Zoo are using hot monkey love as a promotion for their new R-rated after hours zoo tours.

251 - with Links!

1. Two Clowns: Dead A crazed gunman storms into the circus tent during performance of a pair of clowns and shoots them dead. No apparent motive, although I'm sure you could think of one.

2. Mustache Tattoo A new trend in tattooed fingers swept Rhode Island during an incredibly slow news day.

3. More Crap Falls Out of Sky, Damages Home "I’ve never heard of something like this happening, it’s just bizarre," says the resident of a house hit by a falling chunk of ice. Apparently she has been living in seclusion, as this kind of stuff has been happening pretty often lately.

4. Hardboil Hallow Out The quickest way to peel a hard boiled egg.

5. Innuendo Living beaver spotted in New York City for the first time in approximately 200 years. Insert sarcastically incredulous comment and mention of Paris Hilton here.

250 - with Links!

1. The Fake Till Scam The Real Hustle really is my new favorite television show. By supposedly teaching viewers how to avoid being scammed, they are giving me a lot of good advice on how to scam people. There are tons of short clips on Youtube or you can scam BBC Three and download the entire first two seasons.

2. Financial Independence In 1989 a dude bought a painting at a flea market and found a copy of the original Declaration of Independence stashed in the back of the frame. Just a few months ago, another dude found another copy at a thrift store for $4. I can't even find pants in my size.

3. Hard Core Sitting Aaron Fotheringham rides his wheelchair skatepark-style, and eventually pulls off the world's first recorded wheelchair backflip.

4. Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers John Page was bit on the pinkie by a rattlesnake in the garden center of a Florida Wal-Mart and wants to warn shoppers, "this will happen again."

5. One Quarter John Shaeffer wants to show you how much energy you could conserve by switching from incandecent light bulbs to compact flourescent

249 - with Links!

1. Toyger Fever Cat breeders have finally come up with a housecat that has the features of a wild man-eating animal. It is about time!

2. Background's Background After falling in love with the default background on his new Windows XP computer screen, Nick Tosches spent over a year tracking down the exact location where the photograph was taken. Spoiler: It is just west of Toronto in the Burlington suburb of Kilbride.

3. Econoline 1. click the free option at the bottom of the page 2. wait for the countdown to reach zero 3. download the rar file 4. unpack the rar file using a program like winrar or a free alternative 5. burn the MP3s to a CD in the numbered order 6. print out the CD envelope (cut, fold, glue) 7. rock

4. Sick Notes In my experience, the best excuse notes are the vaguest. Try something like "Please excuse Johnny." Bang! That's it. Direct and to the point. Making up excuses makes you seem weak.

5. Naked Ladies The voice of reason in Arizona wins a battle for American freedom by beating down a proposed law meant to ban "obscene" images on mud flaps.

248 - Google!

1. Find a Tattoo of a Weasel Today's post will include my favorite google searches that have led visitors to this site. Even though I think it is pretty funny, I won't include all the suckers that come here looking for The New Paris Hilton Sex Videos.

2. "The Secret" Positive Thought Christian My criticism of The Secret has really brought in a lot of viewers. Unfortunately, the majority of them are looking for the Christian angle on the subject. I doubt most of them care about the bad science for which "The Secret Crew" is responsible. I mean, come on, six days, virgin birth, talking snake, etc.

3. Sweet Operation Mincemeat By far, the largest number of google searchers that end up here are looking for images relating to Operation Mincemeat. Maybe because google images only supplies two pages of results. The real question is; why do so many people want to see pictures of a dead body after it has been recovered from the sea. Sickos!

4. Awesome Magician in Grocery Store My best guess on what he was looking for; Criss Angel: Grocery Store Magic.

Christian Art Prints with Hidden Messages and Cows This is my favorite one by far, and the one which made me think to compile this list. I see all of these topics gathered around the site so I understand why google sent this poor guy here, I just can't figure out what in the hell he might have been really searching for.

247 - with Links!

1. The Best Name They Could Come Up With Morning Whitey, care for a peanut?

2. And the Plague Spreads Rachel Ray is taking over the world. Some people would like you to be carefuller about which shows you watch.

3. Sweet Sweet Fuhrer If there are two things that Croatians love best, they are pure cane sugar, and genocide.

4. Good Forgiving People or Ignorant Saps? Ted Haggard charged a bunch of people a lot of money to tell them that homosexuality was wrong. Meanwhile, he was patronizing a male prostitute. Now those same people are giving him even more "financial support" to help him get back on his rich, rich feet.

Bus Ball Like most of the coolest things in the world, the coolest Volkswagen Bus is owned by Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top.

246 - Science!

1. Look Around You

2. Science

3. The Effect of Drugs on Spiders

4. Karl Pilkington on Science

5. Science Corner

245 - with Links!

1. Robert Adler: Dead World class electrical engineer and inventor of the television remote control, Robet Adler, died of heart failure Sunday at the age of 93. After a small memorial, Mr. Adler will be buried somewhere down the crack between your couch cushions.

2. Arachnovis Ok geneticists, what happens if a four-legged duck mates with a six-legged sheep?

3. Single Camera Theory Blown to Hell New footage of John Kennedy in Dallas just seconds before his famous assassination has surfaced. Conspiracy theorists around the world bought new magnifying glasses.

4. That's an Expensive Omelette $420,000 worth of fossilized dinosaur eggs sold illegally to a collector in Florida to be returned to their rightful owner in China.

Rent and Copy Online DVD renter, Inteliflix, in association with OfficeMax, apparently condone illegal copyright violation and dvd bootlegging.

244 - with Links!

1. 1,001,304 Scoville Units The Bhut Jolokia or ghost chili pepper just came along and knocked the Dorset Naga off the top of the hot ass pepper charts.

2. Fish Face Then the Koreans come along and make a creepy goldfish with the face of a human being.

3. Random Mutation Leads to World's Fastest Duckling If a duck born with four legs breeds, would that trait them be passed on to its offspring? Hello, geneticists?

4. Mataphor for Homeland Security Apparently, the batmobile lost a wheel.

Who Wants to Be a Fourth Grader Which of these orbits the Earth? A. The Moon B. The Sun C. Mars D. Venus

243 - All Request

1. Secret Agent Man David Hasselhoff sings.

2. Mitchel Rose The short films of Mitchel Rose.

3. Plastic Logic Is this a hoax? I didn't see anything about it on any technology websites.

4. Handshake Unnatural Why is this a good t-shirt? I don't know. Don't ask me.

Walken in 2008 A textbook example of how to make money selling t-shirts on Cafepress.