Thursday, March 15, 2007

268 - with Links!

The Impaler

1. The Impaler
The presidential race is really heating up now. Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, the nominee for the Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party has vowed, if voted into office, to impale the outgoing president. Of course he is under investigation by the Secret Service, who aren't doing a very thorough job. “They never even asked to see my impaling stick,” says Sharkey.

The Perfect Murder

2. The Perfect Murder
A good rule of thumb when planning the murder of your spouse: Don't use your own computer when googling such search terms as "How To Commit Murder," "Undetectable Poisons," or "New Jersey Gun laws." If you have to look this stuff up, considerer reformatting your hard-drive or at least clearing your internet cache.

Virtual Chrome

3. Virtual Chrome
There are a couple of ways to see what you might look like with a bald head; Send this guy your picture and then wait a few weeks while he photoshops your hair away (and adds on a bonus goatee.) or just shave your damn head, It is only hair and it will probably grow back.

This American Life

4. This American Life
I just found out that Ira Glass is transposing his classic, long running, public radio program into a television show to be aired on Showtime. If, like me and everybody else, you don't subscribe to Showtime, I'm sure the show will pop up on your favorite bit torrent site sooner or later.

The Oklahoma Land Run

5. The Oklahoma Land Run
Another crazy guy built a roller coaster in his backyard

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I want to know why Pagans get lumped in with "witches" and "vampires."

Old religions considered "Pagan" in Modern Times have nothing to do with "witches" (wiccan or otherwise - although that is up to debate from people who haven't researched old religions much and fall for the "paganistic" bait used by successful "witchery" corporations...) or "vampires" (which don't exist, and if they did, I'd be the first one staking every one of them.....)

Maybe the U.S. SS should put him in a chamber with a huge window and let the sun kill him?
Funny!!!!!!!!!!! Can't believe some of the people in this country.

Christopher said...

I'm assuming they named the party themselves. It isn't like some government group categorized these people together against their will.

a witt said...

The link to that last one goes to the Candy Jones thing. Want roller coaster! Gimme!

G